It's official. I'm now a part of The Waiting Game. Went to the doctor's earlier this week...and got the green light to give birth!! Dilated 1 cm already...so it could happen any day now. Don't get too excited though. I could be walking around like this for weeks, too. That's why it's called the The Waiting Game. It's funny because as soon as the doctor told me I was dilated...my brain immediately left the pregnancy world and entered post-partum world. Mentally, I don't feel pregnant. I've been trying for days to explain this to people, but I don't really know how. You'd think after you hear.."You're dilated a centimeter. Could be any day now," that I would be obsessed with signs my body might be giving me. But I find myself thinking about vacation destinations, visiting friends, shopping, getting a haircut, that piece of chocolate cake I had to pass up recently....normal stuff. I see signs of pregnancy all around the house, especially since I haven't cleaned in months. But when I see it now...I don't even associate it with Baby anymore. It's just clutter that needs to be put away. P, on the other hand, went numb. Oh, what I would give for a photo of his face from that moment. He's been on red alert ever since, his anxious thoughts keeping him up at night. As for me, all those nights I've spent thinking about the craziness that is about to happen and how our lives about to change completely....gone. I just lay there and play Solitaire on the iPad until I fall asleep. I've concluded that my mind is over this pregnancy. I mean...sooooooo over it. Either that...or I'm in complete denial, my brain has shut down in some sort of defense and when I finally do go into labor, it will completely shock me. I guess we'll see!
I did my best to document as much of this pregnancy as I could. But when I read back, there is so much I didn't include, like how I've been avoiding all sorts of yummy foods in an attempt to avoid the big H. Heartburn. That was my first pregnancy symptom actually. No wait, my boobs hurt like a mother. Okay, so heartburn was my 2nd symptom. IT. WAS. AWFUL. I'd never felt anything like it before. I remember I was on my way to new assignment for work...6am in the morning and I'm pulling into a Ralphs buying 2 bottles of Tums. Sadly, they didn't do anything to relieve the burn. I think I took the maximum daily dosage in under an hour. I've been determined to not go through that again. So, for the past 9 months, I've been avoiding spicy foods, chocolate, fried foods and tomatoes. It's been rough, folks. I didn't realize how much of these foods I ate until I couldn't. So, you can probably guess what I'll be eating as soon as this baby pops out of me. A big bowl of spaghetti, with fries on the side and a big-ass slice of chocolate cake to finish me off.
I never wrote about all the knitting and sewing I'd been doing. Shopping for maternity clothes. My fears of mother driving me nuts more than she already does once Baby comes. Baby registry hell. Reading and avoiding all those baby books. The name game. My many guesses as to what Baby will be like. Thoughts on parenting and my regrets on not watching those nanny shows religiously. How I'm STILL hypersalivating at 39 weeks!! Perhaps a daily journal would've been more accurate but it's hard enough keeping up with this sucker every few weeks.
Remember how I said many of our close friends were also expecting? Well, for months, I've been the player on deck, taking practice swings. It's a nice place to be, btw. But the first preggo just delivered a few days ago. So, now it's my turn. At bat and ready to swing!!!
What's with baseball analogy? I don't know. Leave me alone. I'm still pregnant.