Sound The Alarm!!!!

Where do I begin? Sigh.  I'll do my best to make this brief.  Mainly because I don't want to think about it anymore.  It started about a month ago.  My perinatalogist found this.... anomaly in the baby during the ultrasound. It's called umbilical vein varix.  Don't worry.  Apparently it's really rare.  So rare that my OB had never even heard of it.  No one at the hospital had heard of it.  I'd sure as heck haven't!  Basically, the umbilical vein in the baby's belly is dilated.  An aneurysm, if you will.   Sometimes this is associated with other negative findings, none of which our baby had.  Thank God.  But there it was.  The risk is this, it can clot.  If it clots, the baby won't be getting anything from me, including blood.  So if you haven't guessed already, there are times when this doesn't end well.  So, upon hearing this, I proceeded to stress out like never before.  It was all I could think about.  Did I do something to cause this?  Why isn't there any information on this on the internet!??  Is he kicking enough?   Is it because of my thyroid?  Is he going to be okay?

My mind was going nonstop.  My next appointment was 4 weeks later.  It was an eternity.  Luckily, this baby was an acrobat so kick counting was a cinch.  As long as he was kicking me, I was happy.  He's alive in there.  Meanwhile, I had to go to the hospital twice a week for NST and AFI tests.  On top of that, I had weekly appointments with my OB.  It was a lot of driving and waiting around.  Not fun, but necessary.  Anyway, fast forward to the next appointment with my perinatologist.  I wanted to ask him about what would happen if we got the baby out early.  I figure if the baby doesn't need his vein anymore, the risk is gone, right?  So let's make it happen!!!  Well, I didn't have to mention a thing.  He basically told me to head to hospital and induce that night!  Um.... say what?  I don't even have my hospital bag packed!!  And not to mention, we have no clean clothes for the baby!  OMG.  I called P immediately and told him to get ready.  My mom had to haul ass to our house so she could watch W.  We were sooooo not ready.

We get to hospital and start the induction right away.  Now I've always heard that the second baby is always easier.  Easier in labor, shorter in time, and less painful to push out.  Well...I guess I'll be the person to tell you otherwise.  I labored about the same amount of time.  And I pushed for almost the same amount of time.  But this kid has a much smaller head than W.  PHEW!   So, unlike the first time, I was able to push him out without any assistance.  Put the vacuum away, doc.  I got this.  And even though I was hungry this time around as well, I didn't throw up!  I made sure I ate a huge dinner before leaving for the hospital.





























Here he is.  Our beautiful baby, N.  He looks a lot like W.  I mean A LOT!  Even his mismatched ears are the same as W's!  Flat on the right, bent on the left.  LOL!!  During the whole pregnancy, P and I would wonder about how this guy would be able to steal our hearts when we were so in love with W already.  There's no way he could be as cute as W.  That's what we would keep saying.  I guess God decided to shut us up by making him look just like him.  Clever.  His head is definitely smaller and, therefore, much more proportionate.  He came into this world at 4:19pm, weighing 7 lbs. and 7 oz.  We missed the crazy 12-12-12 birthdate by one day, which is great because it was a mad house!  I eventually got transferred out of maternity into the new tower because they ran out of room.  I think it's so silly that so many people would purposely schedule C-sections and inductions just to have that birthday.  Here I am, just praying I give birth to a healthy living baby, inducing out of NECESSITY, while others get superstitious.  Makes me nuts.

Proud grandma.

How did W handle the new baby? Well, we prepped him as best we could before hand. And I think it helped. He would hug and kiss my belly, lean his head on it while saying, "baby inside." And seemed okay when he came to visit. But the real test would be when we bring the baby home, W's territory. He likes the baby enough. In fact, he kisses him a lot, leaving stamps of drool here and there. But I think he misses our attention, too. He's whinier and needier. Just a tad. There have been a couple of unexplained tantrums. I don't wanna say that it's not that bad, for fear that this will escalate. So I'll just keep my mouth shut for now.

At first, he was more interested in the iPhone than his new baby brother.  

The first of many kisses.  

Sunbathing because he's jaundiced. 

Sigh.  Big exhale of relief that our new baby boy is here, safe and so far, healthy.  He's adorable and sweet and more than I could've ever asked for.  If I could do anything for W, it would be to give him a friend for life. I was completely overwhelmed when I realized my dream of having a sibling had been realized through W.  For whatever reason, God has decided to give me this beautiful life and I hope I never take it for granted.  Mother of two boys.  Let the fun begin!!!

This photo is just for kicks.  My mom takes W out for walks everyday.  Little did I know she was putting MY winter accessories on my son.  I guess this is what my daughter would look like.   

Santa, I Hope You're Reading This.

If I could type laying on my side, I'd be very happy right now.  Though people keep telling me I'm small for 8 months, I feel enormous and I can't tell you how many times I've imagined sawing off my own thighs just so they won't push up against my belly.  As I grow increasingly larger and more uncomfortable, I am also getting more and more excited about meeting Jaws.  We can only guess that he's going to look a lot like W but in the recent ultrasounds, he has been covering his face so we can't really know.  We have narrowed our list of possible names and I'm seriously considering leaving up to the good folks on FB to decide for us.  NOT!  Well, I dunno.  Maybe.

As for W, he's been fighting something for the past few days.  It's only a fever on and off...but it's been making him cranky.  Either that or he's finally entering the phase of the Terrible Twos.  Regardless, I worry about how he will handle having to share me and P with another child.  And I'm even more terrified of the day P goes back to work from paternity leave.  I remember being soooo scared of taking of care of W on my own, I didn't sleep for the last week of P's leave.  But it ended up being fine and I got into a rhythm very quickly.  

But this time will be different, right?  TWO KIDS!!!  So, in light of our upcoming addition, I've decided that this will be the only Christmas that W gets spoiled rotten!!!  Until now, he's had a very humble amount of gifts for the holidays.  Even this last birthday, as a family, we kind of disappointed him.  Not that he would notice, given that he's only 2 years old.  LOL!  But still.   So, this holiday season, I want him to have lots of gifts to open and more importantly, lots of DISTRACTIONS for when the baby gets here.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  It's not that I want to spoil him.  Heck, no!  And take it from me, you can spoil a child in many other says other than with material things.  I just really want as much help as I can get from "Santa" so that W has something to play with while I'm nursing and things like that.  As a stay-at-home mom, you get quite desperate and all schools of thought go out the window when you're just trying to stay sane.  I can just hear you other moms out there, nodding your heads, agreeing with me.  

This Christmas will definitely be different, no matter what happens.  All I have on the brains is a healthy baby and a happy older brother.  That's it.  I care little for the holidays.  I care even less for my own birthday, even though it's a kind of a big one.  God, if you can hear me, just please please please let us end this 2012 year with tears of joy.  If all goes well, I can ring in the new year along with the rest of society.  But until then, tick tock tick tock.

He sees the carousel and he can hardly walk fast enough.

So happy he's dancing!!!

Look at that face!  

Jaws

Did I mention that the baby's nickname is Jaws?  No?  Well, it is.  We still don't have a name but I thought it was important to remember the first "name" we actually gave this one.  You see, my mom has dreams.  She's one of those people that has those prophetic dreams every once in a while.  You know, about death, pregnancies....whatever else.  Well, she knew I was pregnant with W before I did. She said she dreamt about a picture of Jesus and on that picture, instead of a nose, Jesus had a little mini sonogram of a baby.  LOL!!!  I can't even imagine the kinds of crazy dreams she has.   But yeah, that's how she knew.  This time, she dreamt she was at a swimming pool.  And poolside was this great big gray dolphin, just laying out in the sun.  She said it was so big and beautiful.  I can only guess that this was W.  Then she said she noticed that behind the dolphin, swimming around in the pool was a small shark.  She didn't know it then, but I was pregnant...again.  And of course, it was another boy.  I guess Koreans interpret fish as boys.  I don't know the names of too many sharks so we just nicknamed him Jaws.  Turns out to be a pretty accurate description because this pregnancy nearly killed me.  And I could feel this little guy moving around since I was 11 weeks pregnant.  W used to kick me a lot, especially on the left.  Jaws not only kicks me, but he stretches out and does tai chi or something in there.   It's quite painful and I can't wait for this one to be out of me and in my arms.  It's going to be a very special Christmas this year.  I hope W likes his present :)

Speaking of fish.  We went to the aquarium!!!  I wanted to take W somewhere before his little brother gets here and he gets neglected.  I'm in no condition for Disneyland or Legoland, but the aquarium is perfect.

He kept pointing and shouting "big fish!!"

Hi, fish.

This was his favorite thing...feeding the lorikeets.  

He kept checking the cup to see how much they drank.

He wanted to feed every bird in sight.  Even the pigeons.  

I bet my son looked mighty yummy to these sharks.

This is why I don't go in the ocean.

Check this guy out, trying to climb in!!

I can't believe we're bringing our child to place we used to go to in college!!

We get a pressed coin every cool place we go.  

Look who joined us!  Hi little lady!

W, did you poo because something stinks?!

All in all, he had a good time, though he kinda lost it towards the end. I think it'll be a while before we go to the big theme parks. I'm thinking overnight stays will be a must. Which is fine with me! I can't wait to take the boys to new places! But I want to take them when they'll appreciate it. My parents took me everywhere when I was just a baby. The only problem is, I don't remember any of it. !! Even now, when I go through my baby photos, I realize I've been places that I've been wanting to go to.

I know it's tempting to want to take your little ones every where, dress them up and take pictures. I think some people do that just to show off. Posting photos on Facebook just to say, "Look, here's my kid doing this and that." Or perhaps some find it hard to let go of their former lives, social butterflies with no kid to weigh them down. I think my parents were a little like this. They were and still are very social people and I wasn't about to ruin that for them. So wherever they went, I went. I can't help but think that this is the reason I'm such a homebody now. As soon as I was old enough to stay home alone, I did. And I've been a homebody ever since.

I'm a mom now and my only goal is to keep my boys happy and healthy. It was fun doing things leisurely when it was just me. Getting coffee, browsing through books and magazines at Barnes. I could shop for useless crap and come home whenever. I could watch whatever I wanted on TV and go watch movies late at night. But you know what, nothing beats seeing my son run to me with a book he wants to read or coming home to the words "mooooommmyyy!!" And though I sneak peaks of my morning talk shows, I always go back toW's favorites because I just love the way he sings and dances along with them. And now I get to experience this double time!!! Wooohoo!!!

Sigh

Have I lost the will to live?  No, of course not!!! But I'm soooooo tired and sooooo uncomfortable.  I'm more so this time around than with W.  There's so much I want to write about but I lose all interest as soon as I have the computer in front of me.  For the most part, things are great.  W is turning into total boy.  He makes sound effects when he plays and he's already starting to take care of his mommy. Keke.  When I go to the restroom, he gives me toilet paper.  Sometimes he even wipes the side of my leg on each side!!  Hilarious!  He's so sweet when he moves the hair out of my face, sometimes he covers my face with it.  And when I'm resting on the sofa, he comes up to me and says, "mom sleeping" and leaves me alone...most of the time.

I have been spending quite a bit of my sanity worrying about what W will be like when the baby gets here.  I wish I could confidently say that he's going to be so great and understanding, handing me diapers and kissing the baby.  But the truth is, the logic just isn't there.  You see, I smother the crap out of him.  I'm talking about so many kisses that you HAVE to wash his face at the end of the day.   I know it's bad and I should stop...but I can't help it.  I've tried.  I really have.  I squeeze him and tackle him with tickles and I'm constantly in contact with him...because I want to.  And as a result, he loves to cuddle and be near me and his daddy.  Our ideal time spent together is just laying in bed together, all cuddled up as one.  He won't even fall asleep unless a part of his body is touching one of us.  But all of this is about to change.  Soon, I'll be busy feeding the baby and W will have to share me when P goes back to work.  Sigh.  Will he understand?  How do you explain to someone so young that their place in your world in forever?  Sigh.   I've heard different things.  Some kids totally lose it, even though they were fairly independent to begin with. And other kids are fine and nonchalant, though fairly needy normally.  So, who knows.  Maybe my good little boy will continue to be good and make life easy for us.  I can only hope.

One thing for sure, he's going to be a great big brother.   Everyone used to say this when they first heard I was pregnant, but I was never sure why.  I mean, he's still a baby to me.  What about him makes him big brother material?   But I see now what they mean.  He's so cautious and thoughtful, always thinking before doing ANYTHING.  And he listens to us fairly well.  Though there are times when he completely ignores me.  But I do that, too.  He's not greedy or selfish in the least, and he's not a bully like some kids.  He is a bit of scaredy cat but we knew he would be.  Both P and I were like that as children.  My dad used to call me "chickenshit."  How lovely, right?  And one thing I love is how aware W is about his surroundings.  He's all about the vibe and acts accordingly.  There's no fooling him.   This makes it extra work for us as parents to get him to do things he normally wouldn't.  But it's worth it.  I hope he grows up to the kid in the group that questions whatever stupid activity they're about to do, even if he does end up going along with it in the end.

When will W become a big brother?  Well, I'm due in about 9 weeks.  OMG.  It's sooo close and there's sooo much to do still!  P has been busy redoing our messy garage.  We were going to have to eventually because of all the many baby things we saved for the next child.  Oh!!! and we got a new car!!!  "New car! New car!!" as W says.  We traded my beloved and well-used Element for a none other than....a minivan!!!! I think I am the only person who has always wanted one.  I mean, how could you not?!  They're so roomy and boxy.  I just love it.  LOVE IT!  It's sooo much easier putting W in his seat and all the head room and trunk space, makes life that much easier.  We don't plan on keeping it forever because they are very economical in terms of gas efficiency.  But for now, it's great! But it is a bigger car..and our garage is already too small for two cars to begin with.  So it was high time to do a little renovating.  As a result, I am able to do some nesting, cleaning out the spare room and making it a new home for this dude.  I just have one thing to say.  Boy! do I have a lot of yarn!

We don't have a name yet, but we're narrowing it down.  It's tough, though.  I hate to say it, but boy names kinda suck.  No wonder names are just passed down.  It's just easier.  If I could, I would chose another character's name from the Princess Bride.  But Inigo, Fezzik and Vizzini aren't exactly options.  Don't even get me started on Humperdink.    Sigh.  So we start from scratch.

As far as the pregnancy goes,  I just want it to be over already.  I don't know if it's my thyroid or just the pregnancy hormones, but I still feel sick pretty much all day.  It's not bad but it's not fun either.  My pelvis is already killing me.  Everytime I sit down, I feel like it's going to split into two.  And though I normally LOVE our plush mattress, it's hell for pregnancy.  Oh, and I CAN'T BREATHE!!!  Which doesn't make any sense since I feel as though I'm carrying even lower than I did last time!!!  Ahhh!  One thing that I am doing differently this time around is  that I'm eating more.  I still hate grilled meat and certain smells, just like the first time.  But I'm totally being bad this time around.  With W, I didn't eat ANY chocolate, fried foods, spicy foods or anything that might give me heartburn.  But I am all over that stuff these days.  So far, my body has been understanding.  I'm eating See's as we speak.  Mmmmmmm-hmmmm.

Finally the holidays are among us.  Halloween is only a couple of days away and W has already seen enough pumpkins to last him to next year.



Now, if only I can just make through Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All I want for Christmas...is to give birth to a healthy happy baby!!!

Party Animal

W is now 2!!!  When, oh when! did this happen?!  My little baby is growing up too quickly.  Too quick for me to keep up and I'm afraid I'm going to feel this way from now on.  In just a few short months, we'll have an addition to our family and our attention will have to be rationed between our two boys.  I hope W adjusts to this okay, though I wouldn't blame him if he was jealous.  We smother the crap out of that kid.  Especially me.  I can't help myself!!  Have you seen him?!  He's so squeezable and kissable!  I was helpless against his charms.  

Sigh.  Alas, he is a man now.  A 2-year-old man.  I love celebrating the day he was born so much that we did it 3 times!!  I prepped by singing Happy Birthday To You to  him a lot beforehand.  And wouldn't ya know, he loves to sing that song now!!  Of course his version is "Happy to you" over and over again.  And he spits more than he blows...so wet birthday cake.  

Here's celebration #1, with sweet little I.  She's also two now.  You can see W singing along with everyone.

He's really belting it out.

LOL!!  Happy to yoooooouuuu!

Chocolate ganache with raspberry filling.  Need I say more?

Thanks Auntie K for letting us have a party at your place!

Celebration #2 with longtime playdate buddy, A.  Notice the shorter do my son is rockin.  Took 3 days to cut.  Don't ask.

Courtesy of Auntie S!  Here's the video of W singing!

Singing to A.  

W didn't even notice the camera.

Too busy stuffing his face.

Mmmm...

And finally celebration #3.  This was was with family and he was so excited to see so many familiar faces.  We did a combo celebration with Grandpa, seeing as how their birthdays are only a day apart.  

Showing off his FreshBeat Band moves.  

Now everybody!

Haaaaappppeeee Toooo Yooouuu!!!

Labor Day Fun!

Our good friends E & S invited us over for some BBQ and pool party fun.  I was most excited for W to play with some friends.  Ever since I got pregnant, he hasn't spent any time with his friends.  I was too sick at first, and now it's just too hot!  Honestly, Summer can just crawl into a hole and die for all I care.  I can't stand it any more.  I can't wait to see our electricity bill.  Even it was hot, we decided we really needed to spend some quality time with other adults.  Our social life has been nonexistent for the past couple of years, and it's not about to get any better.  

We thought W was over the whole stranger anxiety thing.  For the most part, he is.  EXCEPT when he goes into someone else's house.  He still cries his ass off and proceeds to spend the rest of the time dancing and yammering away.  I don't get it.  Talk about attention seeker.  

He was likin' all the ladies.  It's about time!

P was a gracious host.  All smiles and giggles.

Look at those cheeks!  Did I take a bite?  You'll never know. 

Um, going shirtless are we?  Does this have anything to do with the young ladies?

Did you see that guy, flexing his muscles at us?

This is girls only club.  

Should we let him in?

Gotta protect that beautiful fair skin.

This is what happens when your dad played water polo.   

Needless to say, we had a great time!  Thanks E & S!  And I ate the whole freakin time!!!  Three hamburgers to be exact!  I gotta say that I have not been eating properly with this pregnancy.  I don't know what happened?  I'm breaking all my rules and risking heartburn at every meal.  Sigh.  This baby is gonna be huge.  

Old friends.  Feeling even older now that we all have kids. 

FLEX!!!  This was a major crowd pleaser.