Have I lost the will to live? No, of course not!!! But I'm soooooo tired and sooooo uncomfortable. I'm more so this time around than with W. There's so much I want to write about but I lose all interest as soon as I have the computer in front of me. For the most part, things are great. W is turning into total boy. He makes sound effects when he plays and he's already starting to take care of his mommy. Keke. When I go to the restroom, he gives me toilet paper. Sometimes he even wipes the side of my leg on each side!! Hilarious! He's so sweet when he moves the hair out of my face, sometimes he covers my face with it. And when I'm resting on the sofa, he comes up to me and says, "mom sleeping" and leaves me alone...most of the time.
I have been spending quite a bit of my sanity worrying about what W will be like when the baby gets here. I wish I could confidently say that he's going to be so great and understanding, handing me diapers and kissing the baby. But the truth is, the logic just isn't there. You see, I smother the crap out of him. I'm talking about so many kisses that you HAVE to wash his face at the end of the day. I know it's bad and I should stop...but I can't help it. I've tried. I really have. I squeeze him and tackle him with tickles and I'm constantly in contact with him...because I want to. And as a result, he loves to cuddle and be near me and his daddy. Our ideal time spent together is just laying in bed together, all cuddled up as one. He won't even fall asleep unless a part of his body is touching one of us. But all of this is about to change. Soon, I'll be busy feeding the baby and W will have to share me when P goes back to work. Sigh. Will he understand? How do you explain to someone so young that their place in your world in forever? Sigh. I've heard different things. Some kids totally lose it, even though they were fairly independent to begin with. And other kids are fine and nonchalant, though fairly needy normally. So, who knows. Maybe my good little boy will continue to be good and make life easy for us. I can only hope.
One thing for sure, he's going to be a great big brother. Everyone used to say this when they first heard I was pregnant, but I was never sure why. I mean, he's still a baby to me. What about him makes him big brother material? But I see now what they mean. He's so cautious and thoughtful, always thinking before doing ANYTHING. And he listens to us fairly well. Though there are times when he completely ignores me. But I do that, too. He's not greedy or selfish in the least, and he's not a bully like some kids. He is a bit of scaredy cat but we knew he would be. Both P and I were like that as children. My dad used to call me "chickenshit." How lovely, right? And one thing I love is how aware W is about his surroundings. He's all about the vibe and acts accordingly. There's no fooling him. This makes it extra work for us as parents to get him to do things he normally wouldn't. But it's worth it. I hope he grows up to the kid in the group that questions whatever stupid activity they're about to do, even if he does end up going along with it in the end.
When will W become a big brother? Well, I'm due in about 9 weeks. OMG. It's sooo close and there's sooo much to do still! P has been busy redoing our messy garage. We were going to have to eventually because of all the many baby things we saved for the next child. Oh!!! and we got a new car!!! "New car! New car!!" as W says. We traded my beloved and well-used Element for a none other than....a minivan!!!! I think I am the only person who has always wanted one. I mean, how could you not?! They're so roomy and boxy. I just love it. LOVE IT! It's sooo much easier putting W in his seat and all the head room and trunk space, makes life that much easier. We don't plan on keeping it forever because they are very economical in terms of gas efficiency. But for now, it's great! But it is a bigger car..and our garage is already too small for two cars to begin with. So it was high time to do a little renovating. As a result, I am able to do some nesting, cleaning out the spare room and making it a new home for this dude. I just have one thing to say. Boy! do I have a lot of yarn!
We don't have a name yet, but we're narrowing it down. It's tough, though. I hate to say it, but boy names kinda suck. No wonder names are just passed down. It's just easier. If I could, I would chose another character's name from the Princess Bride. But Inigo, Fezzik and Vizzini aren't exactly options. Don't even get me started on Humperdink. Sigh. So we start from scratch.
As far as the pregnancy goes, I just want it to be over already. I don't know if it's my thyroid or just the pregnancy hormones, but I still feel sick pretty much all day. It's not bad but it's not fun either. My pelvis is already killing me. Everytime I sit down, I feel like it's going to split into two. And though I normally LOVE our plush mattress, it's hell for pregnancy. Oh, and I CAN'T BREATHE!!! Which doesn't make any sense since I feel as though I'm carrying even lower than I did last time!!! Ahhh! One thing that I am doing differently this time around is that I'm eating more. I still hate grilled meat and certain smells, just like the first time. But I'm totally being bad this time around. With W, I didn't eat ANY chocolate, fried foods, spicy foods or anything that might give me heartburn. But I am all over that stuff these days. So far, my body has been understanding. I'm eating See's as we speak. Mmmmmmm-hmmmm.
Finally the holidays are among us. Halloween is only a couple of days away and W has already seen enough pumpkins to last him to next year.
Now, if only I can just make through Thanksgiving and Christmas. All I want for Christmas...is to give birth to a healthy happy baby!!!