Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Remember that song?!

No I didn't go on vacation.  I WISH!!!  I got knocked up instead.  Hahahaha!  Yup, I'm about 17 weeks pregnant.  And no, we don't know what we're having yet.  But we're really excited that W is going to have someone to play with.  This has been my dream for him, for him to have a sibling.  I know my parents' didn't have a choice but I wanted to make sure he wasn't an only child if I could help it.  Was our timing good...well, that's a horse of another color, but it's too late to think about stuff like that we go!!!

I wish I could say this pregnancy is different from the first.  Wait, it is.  It's waaaay worse!!!  I know, right?  After all that suffering the first time, you would think this one couldn't be any worse.  But it has been doozy. I can't believe that W was the easy pregnancy.  Sigh.   I thought I was okay around 10 weeks, but then, much to my confusion, I got worse as time went on.  I kept thinking....WTF!?  Why am I getting sicker and sicker?  Well, it got so bad that I ended up in the hospital.  I spent 3 nights and 4 days there, hooked up to an IV and getting no sleep.  They kept checking my blood pressure just when I was falling asleep.  Weird.  Why was I so sick?  Well, it turns out my pregnancy hormones made my thyroid go bonkers.  I now have hyperthyroidism.  Yay.  And as a result, my morning sickness got worse.  Not only do I have to see and perinatalogist because I'm old, I now have to see an endocrinologist to maintain my thyroid levels.  I was really freaked out for a while because if the medication I was taking was affecting negatively, I'd have to have a thyroidectomy during my pregnancy!  YIKES!!!  But so far, the meds are working and I'm doing much better.  Insert huge sigh of relief.  

In the end, going to the hospital was the best decision I could've made.  The folks at the hospital really took great care of me and fixed me right up.  My OB was so great, letting me ruin her weekend and visiting me every morning!!!  She's so awesome, she's worth the extra 15 miles I have to drive from our new home.  I got back home feeling like I'd been given a second chance at life.  

For the past few months, I wasn't able to do anything but lay in bed, getting up only to pee or puke.  Fun, eh?  And I couldn't take care of my W.  That was the worst. THE WORST.  I missed out on so much.  Suddenly he knew all these new words he didn't before, and even the way he moves and's like I was seeing him for the first time.  He's even calling me "mom" now.   When did this happen!!!? I thought he would forget about me and for a while, it seemed like he did.  My MIL, my mom and, most especially, my husband really stepped in and took care of everything.  I wish I could say I suffered alone, but this pregnancy has been hard on everybody.  P was always great with W, but he had to be more than great.  He had to be mommy and daddy and housekeeper and provider.  He was basically a single dad for the past few months, getting absolutely no help from me.  The only mercy he'd get is that one of our moms' would do the dishes so that he wouldn't have to.  But other than that, it was all on him.  Poor guy.  Oh yeah, and he had to take care of me as well.  Sheesh!  

I missed my son sooo much.  I loved to hear him giggle with whoever was watching him, but it would also break my heart, too.  If you think about it, it's been me and him for the last year and half.  During the day, we were together every minute and it was wonderful!  Suddenly, overnight, I couldn't  even change his diaper.  The smell would send me spinning.  Even the smell of his Cheerios would make me sick.  Was I able to prepare his food?  Heck no!  Thank God for my MIL.  She bravely drove all the way to our house every week and played with W until papa came home.  If any good came out of this, it was that W got to know his grandma who lives so far away.

It was definitely hard to watch on the sidelines.  You have no control over the house, over meals, over how your child is being raised.  That was the hardest.  My teachings being derailed by whoever is with my son.  Sigh.  But that's life.  And I'm back in action so I'm working on getting life back to normal for all of us.  I don't know why I even bother when in just a few months, it's going to get crazy up in here!!!  I CAN'T WAIT!!   Just in time for the holidays, too!

I'm forgetting a lot.  But whatevs.  I'm tired of thinking about it all.  I'm just happy to be back.  Poopy diapers and all.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations!! I had a suspicion you were pregnant. I was wondering where you had disappeared to and was going to email you and I thought, "I bet she's pregnant! She must be too tired to blog." I remember those first few weeks, no, months. I refused to even step inside the kitchen and would have to stay upstairs while the hubs heated up his food. Yuck! Hope things get better for you and the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!