We've got thrush. It sounds like something exciting if you don't know what it is. But it's really quite awful. A fungus in W's mouth. And I can't tell if it spread to me but I'm taking my precautions as well. I was pumping for a couple of days to prevent any further pain and contamination...and I learned that pumping exclusively will not be easier than breastfeeding directly. If anything, it's more work. You still have to "feed" every few hours, only to a machine. And then you have to feed the baby with the bottle itself. So it's like double the work!! And when you have an eater like W, time is of the essence or you're in for a wailfest. By the time you're done pumping and feeding the baby, and then put him down for his nap, it's time to start all over again! You know how time flies when you're having fun? Well, apparently, it flies when you're having a crap time, too. It's taken me nearly a 2 week to write this post because I only have a few minutes at a time to do so. The little free time I do have conflicts me. Should I take pictures, do laundry, take a shower....sleep?
He's already changing. It's happening so fast, I'm certain if I record him 24/7 and fast forward the playback, I can actually see him growing! When W was first born, everyone thought he looked like me. I'd like to add that he was super swollen and puffy. Thanks, guys. Now that the swelling has gone down and he is able to open his eyes, you can totally tell that he looks just like P. We even found a baby picture of P that looks similar to W. It's crazy....this circle of life we spin around in. Everyday, W looks a little different. It makes me kind of sad. Why do they have to grow so quickly?!
I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around this whole breastfeeding thing. The feeding itself is fine for the most part. It's the when? how long? and how much? that is driving me straight to Looneyville. Not to mention...it hurts!! The initial latchon has me seeing spots at times. Boy, can he suck! I'm getting used to it, thank God. But it still has me cringing before each feeding. It was especially brutal because W was jaundiced and the doctor said I had to feed him every 2 hours. Ouch!! You know those clips of dogs hanging on to the mailman's ass with the jaws of life. That's how I feel. I'm the mailman and W is the Jack Russell that won't let go. Ow. Ow. Ow. We sit with him in sunlight everyday to help flush the bile out of his system faster. It got a little stressful when the jaundiced reached his feet. After a tummy-knotted visit to the lab, we were given good news. His levels were good and he just needs to continue eating and sunbathing until he's all pink again. I also failed to realize that breastfeeding a baby meant you were literally chained to the baby for as long as your nursing him. I mean, it's not like bottle feeding where anyone can feed him. Unless I can detach my boobs and stick 'em on P, I'm it. And I will be for quite some time. Everything I do now revolves around the baby's feeding schedule.
As far as losing all that baby weight...I lost a little from breastfeeding. It turns out, I didn't really gain that much weight after regaining what I lost in the first trimester. And with W being a big baby, most of what I gained ended up being him. So, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within days of giving birth. Then with all the breastfeeding, I lost a few more pounds. But the weight loss came to a screeching halt soon after. I think all the chocolate I've been eating has something to do with it... and it was totally worth it!!
For the most part, W is easy. He eats every couple of hours..and then sleeps. But the night feeding is the most brutal. The guy just doesn't stop eating! And then...when he's finished...he doesn't sleep!!! He's gluttonous and has insomnia. Hmmmm..who does that sound like? Kekekeke. Swaddling was tough at first because just like in the womb, W is a kicker. Very active and very opposed to confinement. But P came up with this ingenious swaddling technique! I don't know what we'd do if he didn't come up with it. You need to use a super big swaddling blanket, like the ones by Aden + Anais. You also need the velcro flap of a Halo swaddle blanket. The two combined is swaddling bliss. It's the perfect straight jacket!
I had some uncomfortable swelling for the first week. It's so cruel that you're finally free of the debilitating belly, only to have legs and feet so swollen you can't even walk. I did the whole Korean miyuk soup thing and I drank lots of fluids and avoided carbs. Well, not all carbs. I have been eating a ton of chocolate. As soon as W came out, I was in full chocolate reload mode. I felt like the Terminator, with that radar vision, seeking out chocolate like it was the enemy. And I had to destroy it with my mouth! Even 2 weeks later, Ieat fistfuls of peanut M&Ms throughout the day. And with Halloween just around the corner, it's hard not to buy bags and bags of the stuff at Target. I finally had a hamburger for the first time since last December. In n Out, you were missed. I've eaten pizza, pasta, tomatoes, fries, Snickers, brownies, chocolate ice cream. These are all things I avoided throughout my pregnancy. I've still got a long list of foods I need to revisit, like lasagna, salsa, coffee, kimchi...other forms of chocolate :D
For now, I'm enjoying motherhood. Yes, my boobies hurt and I'm getting very little sleep. But my complaints are minute compared to what I feel when I see my little baby's face. He makes so many funny faces and has so many endearing quirks already, I fear I am becoming the "doting" mother I always make fun of. I could just sit there and stare at him all day long if I didn't fear hemorrhoids so much. And as much as I want to freeze time and keep him in this adorable newborn state, I can't wait for the day when he can baby talk with us and call me "mama."
Here's a photo of W making one of his funny faces. It's not in focus but it's the only one I've got.