Lazy Song: Survival Mode

Sometimes, I think W can read. When I'm not looking, he climbs up the stairs, goes into our room, grabs the baby guide books and then does exactly what they say. It sounds crazy but with the little sleep I get these days, I feel crazy. Basically what I'm saying is that W can be so textbook sometimes, it's as if he's doing it on purpose. So a few weeks ago, he started waking up earlier in the morning. This is totally fine since I'm tired anyway. But then just starting last week, he started waking up around 5am. Going to bed around midnight....only to wake up a few hours later. It's so brutal, I can't even tell you my thought process at that time. You would label me a bad mother, I'm sure.

I could NOT figure it out!!! What happened to my 12-hour baby?!!! Well, after I swore to never read another baby book again, I swallowed my pride and cracked one open. This book got me to drop 3 night feedings easily, so I thought...why not. After skimming a few pages, I found my answer. I have a textbook 12-month old toddler. One who suffers from separation anxiety. Sigh. Like...BAD. One second he's super clingy, then the next he's punching to get free. Along with that is the fact that he's working out a few kinks with his talking and walking. W is far from walking. In fact, while all his friends are pretty much walking, W still prefers to crawl. He's only just started really cruising. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it because once he starts to walk, it's a lot harder. Against my better judgement, I'm going to believe them. I need to see the silver lining.

As for the talking, he's much more advanced. He's like a parrot. Okay, maybe not a parrot. But close! It was fun at first just trying him to get to say one word. But now if I just repeat myself for a couple of hours..he'll say it, too. Sure, he mixes up a few letters here and there, but he's talking!!! Banana = uh-na-na. Halmuhni = ham-mi. Buggie = ug- bi/uggi. I love you = i- ooo.

Audrey (his friend) = od-di. Car = cah. Tree = tee. He also has his own words for things that no matter how many times I correct him, he refuses to say it the right way. Not that I care. I'm just glad I can understand what he wants.

There is one word that he has mastered and it's a doozy. P taught it to him one afternoon and it has haunted us ever since. Our baby is now a cookie monster. If I hadn't bought his Halloween costume already, I'd be dressing him up as just that!! That is all he says now! Cookie. Cookie! COOKIE!!! Actually, it's more like coo- gee. It's insanely cute and I wouldn't mind it so much except that one night he decided he no longer wanted to eat his food. Just cookies. That's what he kept repeating and I freaked out. I think I made 3-4 different meals in under a 1/2 hour!! Iron chef ain't got nothin' on me! Eventually, he ate oatmeal. But promptly asked for coo-gee when he was done. This went on for about a week when I decided...he can no longer have anything that remotely resembles a cookie. Not even Cheerios. You weren't even allowed to say the word "cookie" in our house. One day, after nursing him at 5am, both of us very drowsy and out of it, he suddenly springs up and says "coo-gee!" Seriously?! That's the first thing that was on his mind. Probably dreamt about it all night, too! LOL!

Did the cookie ban work? It kind of worked. He's back to eating his normal foods with less resistance. He's even lost his pronunciation of the word a little bit since no one is allowed to say it anymore, he no longer has a reference. It's kind of sad but a must for now. My boy has got to be healthy and eating. The word however still surfaces daily but is now used for any food that he likes. If he likes mashed potatoes...it's now coo-gee. Bread...also coo-gee. Sigh. What'dya gonna do, right?

The lack of sleep has me thinking back to the recent past when W was just a newborn and eating every 3 hours. Day AND night. Man, I do not miss that one bit!! I don't know how I survived that at all. When I think about those night feedings, I suddenly feel lonely and depressed. At the time, that is pretty much how I felt. The feedings took much longer at that time. 30-45 minutes!!! And it was tricky because the baby is hungry as well as very tired. So, he keeps falling asleep!! This is not good, folks, because you want him to finish eating. Otherwise he'll be up in an hour again...crying for more. But it's tricky because you can't wake them fully. That would be a nightmare. You just wanna jostle them enough to remind them to suck...but in a drowsy state. Um, can someone explain to me how we, as humans, have not evolved beyond this craziness? It's 2 am and I have no energy or wit to concentrate on keeping the baby "semi- awake!" I can barely get my eyelids to unstick! Then after an hour of this nonsense, I'm tired, hot from all the concentrating or something, and bitter. Very bitter. Bitter that my husband is sleeping soundly and uninterrupted while I play the nursing ninja next door. Seriously don't know how I'm going to be able to do that again. Where there's will, I guess.

I feel a little bit like I did back then...running on fumes. It was easy for a while but this early morning waketime, along with his suddenly picky palate, has got me working overtime. I'm so tired, I don't even want to waste time crying about it. I'd much rather just sleep.

Good night.