Losing It

If I ever go bald (which may be sooner rather than later), I have nothing to worry about because I could just make a wig out of all the hair that I've been losing lately. It's scary. I shampoo and do my usual rinse and run-through with my fingers. My hands are covered in my hair. Sometimes I'm afraid to look in the mirror, fearing I'll see a bald reflection! I know this is normal...but I didn't gain any hair during my pregnancy like some women. So I'm a little indignant that I'm losing so much! And W is getting better and better at grabbing things, including shards of my hair. Sheesh! It's like the universe wants me to be bald!

Moving on, W has been eating rice cereal!!! Yay, right? Not really because he's also been spitting it right out. LOL! I'm amazed that he doesn't like it, considering the voracious appetite he has had since he was just an embryo. I was so sure he was gonna love it. Just goes to show you..you just never know. It's weird knowing there is something other than mommy's milk sitting in his tummy. Makes me kind of sad because I know it's just the beginning of his independence of me. Don't be so dramatic, you say. He's just a baby, I know. But in just a few moments, he will be rolling his eyes and getting embarrassed by my affections. Sigh. Better stop now before I get really depressed.

You know what cheers me up these days? W is laughing! Finally, after that tiny glimpse of a chuckle months ago, he's finally laughing. It is THE sweetest sound. I could literally feel my heart busting at the seams every time I hear it. P was doing peek-a-boo one night..and it happened. He just kept giggling and giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world. I have been making all sorts of sounds and noises to get him to laugh. He's a tough one because once he's seen it, he's over it and ready for the next thing. Already a mature sense of humor.

Tomorrow is his four month check-up. Already!!! This means more shots and more tears. :( It wasn't too bad last time and I'm hoping he doesn't have a reaction this time around either. He's already sleeping poorly as it is. We don't need another reason to exacerbate that situation. Mommy needs her Z's....BAD. For a while now, I was beginning to wonder if W was ever going to stay up longer than an hour at a time. This may seem ideal for some people because then you can sleep or do chores until the next feeding, right? While that's true, it also meant that when we're out...he would get cranky after an hour and will cry unless he's carried around. So it would always be difficult to do anything outside the home for more than an hour. But now he's staying up in longer stretches, especially at night. It's pretty brutal and I can't tell you how worn out I am by the time it's 8pm. And just because he's staying up longer, doesn't mean he likes to chill in the bouncer longer as well. You know what that means, right? Our arms are getting a workout!! I can't wait till he can sit up and crawl around. Do I hear freedom ringing?

As tiring as it is, I'm really lucky W is so alert and aware. A friend told me that for the first few months, babies are just blobs...sitting there...totally uncommunicative and boring. That's not W. Never was. He certainly isn't a lazy baby. Always kicking his legs and whipping his head to and fro, he's quite the active baby. He loves when we hold him up and help him stand. And he has such animated expressions and talks so much. It's starting to get really fun. I don't know how I'd handle a baby that just lays there all day...doing nothing but sleep and eat. YAWN! It's hard enough hanging out all day and night with someone who can't speak. Our little guy keeps us on our toes.

Just ate a Snickers bar. Yesh!

Where's that easy button!!?!

Oh! MY GOSH!! Have you heard of the 4-month wakeful period? No? Just come over and you'll know. W does not sleep well to begin with, so this wakeful thing is really taking its toll on me. I tried putting him on a 3.5 hour feeding schedule but it isn't working out too great. In the afternoon, it all falls apart because this is when W decides to find the world(and us) really interesting. He just doesn't want to sleep! And I know he's tired because though he wants to stay awake...he's also cranky about it. And then when you put him to bed...he "resets" himself and becomes all smiles again! You can't turn the lights out on him when he's like that! This is the good stuff, folks and I'm not about to miss it. So we chat and laugh and smile at each other for another 20-30 minutes until he gets sick of it and starts to cry again. Every time I feed him during the night, he looks up at me and says..."So, what's up, mom? Can we play now?" Sigh.

And though crying it out has worked in some ways...it hasn't worked good enough. I don't know if it's just a shitty theory, or if W is just THAT stubborn. Either way, it sucks to listen to him cry like that. He's wailing his little lungs out as I type. :( Help.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure he's teething. It's the early stages of it cuz he's not drooling at a disgusting rate yet. But he is drooling. And instead of sucking on my finger, he just kinda gnaws at it. Same with the bottle. He won't take the bottle anymore!!! He just chews at it and doesn't like that milk is coming out of it. Oh the sadness! That means P can't feed him and I can't go anywhere by myself anymore. And not like...clothes shopping for me or anything like that. I'm talking about simple things like going to the grocery store without worrying that the freezer section is making my baby cold. And if you're anything like me, you just can't shop while with other people. I always feel so rushed and that's no fun!

Awwww...he found his thumb, thank God. Silence is golden.

Thumb War

He found his thumbs!!!! For weeks he's been sticking those pudgy little hands in his mouth...trying so hard to find that perfect finger to suck on. Then it happened one day...he was in thumb sucking heaven! I know it's a bad habit and it's gonna be a hard to break later on....but I have to say...it has been so nice having him soothe himself. It's a lot easier than listening to him cry himself to exhaustion.

There aren't many things I'm willing to deal with later on, like sleep training or getting him on a feeding schedule. As you know...I've been working on those for quite some time now. But I'm not about to take away his thumbs, our newfound resolve to so many back and wristbreaking moments. No seriously, I'm wearing a wrist guard as we speak. I lost feeling in my fingertips, which I am told is a sign of carpal tunnel. And there's an actual medical condition called "mommy thumb" which is just as bad. With all the breastfeeding/burping and toy holding and diaper changing, it gets to be a bit much for those little joints which we normally take for granted. I miss knitting...a lot. So I'm doing my best to get these wrists of mine back in action.

W started "razzing" recently. I thought he had lost his voice and could no longer speak his normal baby coos. You see, there was a particularly rough night where we let W cry....a lot! And the next morning, he had lost his voice. It was so heartbreaking. Even when he giggled or spoke to us after that, he had a very raspy voice. Super cute, but super sad at the same time. Then he started making this funny sound from the back of his throat. I just assumed it was because he had lost his voice...but it turns out it's just the next phase in a baby's development. Phew. His voice is back, I'm happy to say. Now he does a wonderful mix of coos and razzes. He's quite talkative when he's at home. No one believes me, of course, because he just clams up whenever there is company around. Already, he's making mommy out to be a liar.

What else is new?

1. Good news: I think the hairs on W's bald spot are finally growing. Bad news: He's starting to lose his side hairs :(

2. He sleeps unswaddled for the most part. Small things like that make my life so much easier.

3. He noticed Bug! Gave him the stinkeye...but still, he noticed him!

4. He sings when I sing :)

5. He's got eczema...all over his body!

6. He's officially double his birth weight. THREE MONTHS EARLY!!! Sigh.

7. He loves his crib. Kind of like the way his daddy loves his bed. He'll just stare at the crib and start giggling and smiling. Weirdo.

8. He can hold a rattle...but I don't think he knows he's doing it.

9. According to P, he can wave hello when you wave at him. (I have serious doubts about this)

10. He squeals when he's really happy and talkative. Makes me so happy!

I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of other things. But these are the ones that stick out in my mind (which is not functioning at full speed yet...). Right now, I'm just waiting for his 4-month wakeful period to begin. From what I'm reading, it really only affects those with babies who have been sleeping through the night. Which we all know W is not doing. How do we know this...because if he were, I'D BE SHOUTING FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!! Oh, I dream of the day. So maybe I won't lose any more sleep than I already am. I should be sleeping now but W is crying. Thumbs, don't fail me now.

New Year Indeed!!

2011 is gonna be an interesting one. With so many babies around, it's going to be a year of many firsts. I'm so excited! W has only been on this earth for a few months and already he has experienced his first Thanksgiving, Christmas and now New Year's! We missed Auntie C this year, but at least we got to see her for Christmas!

It will be a year of many firsts for P and I as well. Hopefully, at some point, we will have our own home. And I hope to start a new career as well. Both of these endeavors will be taxing on us emotionally and physically, I'm sure. But it's time we got our acts together. Now that we have W, I feel this strange desperation to do better. I think they call it...ambition. LOL!! Finally, the push I've always needed to go for my dreams! All it took was a baby to get it. Thanks, W. Mummy loves you.

We spent the afternoon at Uncle E's house. We did the traditional bowing to family members, past and present.

Even W bowed...with a little help from grandma, of course. Yes, that's me with my head turned. I HAD to see it for myself!

W is the youngest, so he bowed last. Look...he put his arms down!!

OMG. Look at him grip at that money envelope!

Two hands!!! LOL!! Where did he learn that?!!

Last, but not least, a bow to the cousins. Gotta pay your respects, my son.

Check it. Great grandpa, chattin' on the phone...mid-ceremony, in his leisure suit. LOVE IT!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! MANY BLESSINGS!!

Baby BOOM!!!

For that past year, all I've been hearing (as well as saying) is..."man, how did everyone end up getting pregnant at the same time???!" It beats the hell out of me. I always say it must've been something in the water. But I honestly have no idea. This baby boom is nuts! And we're not done yet either! I'm still waiting for a couple more to pop early next year. It's been so crazy...swapping pregnancy and motherhood nightmares (I mean, stories). It was definitely in God's plan to have so many of us start families around the same time. I can't wait to see W and all his new friends grow up together! All of us parents can hang out and not worry so much about our kids being different ages. How blessed are we?!

Why do I have a feeling these three will be doing the same thing in 30 years? Beers in hand, watching Monday Night football. Sigh. W already has a beer belly.

This one is more interesting, no? M and W made a dozen different faces during our little photo session. B, on the other hand, stayed pretty much the same with the exception of one yawn. I guess he's just too cool for school.

Here's W, hanging out with his OC gal pal. She's pretty much the new kid on the block, so she don't have much to say just yet. But soon they'll be chattin' it up, just like their mommas.

Just a taste of what our future gatherings will be like when I see my high school friends. The middle one's father is paranoid one of our little boys will date her in the future. Shotgun dad. I think she'd be lucky to end up with any of these little guys! We're missing one member though. (Don't worry, I've got Tylenol)

And finally, here's W with sweet little A. Why is he naked? He was hot!!! I think most babies are cold when they come into this world, but not my baby. He's just like his momma, always hot. He's a little embarrassed about it, I think.

Though it isn't easy, I think having these playdates are soooo important for W on so many levels. Luckily, he's surrounded by lots of babies his age and I doubt he'll have problems filling up his social calendar.

Naughty or Nice?

W's first Christmas was....fast. It's fast every year, but this year....I need to see pictures to even believe it ever happened. For Christmas Eve, we went to mass in the OC with Grandma, Grandpa and Auntie C. It would've great, only I was super cranky from lack of sleep, what else. And the mother's room at the church...wasn't really a room and the speakers were super loud. It kept upsetting W. Then he was unable to fall asleep in the carrier like he usually does, so I had to walk around in a dark room on the other side of the building and sing lullabies to him. I'm not sure how long I was walking but my already half-size-larger feet hurt so bad, I had to take my shoes off to continue. It was freezing as well and W and I weren't dressed appropriately either. Go mom.

The next morning...we opened presents! P and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts for several years now. I figure if we want to give each other something...we do it anyway all year long. But I just had to get W something, even though he won't be aware of what it is for a couple of years. I think it's perfect. Passing on the tradition of Star Wars fandom to our son. I love it! And it comes with sandwich cutters on the inside in the shape of the Millenium Falcon and TieFighter. I can't wait to make him PB and Js! W actually got more gifts from strangers than he did from family. I don't know if that makes me sad or relieved. But money is tight these days, so I guess I should be happy that a lot wasn't spent. Besides, I think W liked the Christmas tree the most anyway. He would just stare and stare at those pretty white lights.

100 Large!

Why do Koreans celebrate a baby's 100th day of life? Because back in the day...waaaaay back in the day, many babies never made it to this landmark in time. Perhaps it was before hospitals or advanced medicine existed. Maybe it was the poor nutrition and poverty. I'm always being told by my parents how people were so poor and never had meat to eat, so I should lick my plate clean whenever possible. Whatever the reason, when a baby lived for 100 days, it was a reason to celebrate. Obviously, I would use any excuse to celebrate W. If I could throw a party for every cute thing he did, it would be Mardi Gras 24/7 at my house. Without the boob flashing, of course.

P's mom was in charge of organizing the whole thing. And she did a fabulous job! We had a great family gathering at Uncle E's house for a delicious lunch buffet. She really outdid herself.

It was also really nice to see the family since we missed out on the annual Hahn Thanksgiving feast.

Everything looked so good and so pretty! Thank you, Grandma!!

This is W's OTHER great grandparent. Can you believe it?! He has two! So lucky :)

Both grandmas looked very happy.

Gettin some giggles in before his nap.

All this partying can really wear you out. Isn't he precious?

Man of the hour. Looking so serious.

Auntie C was lovin his H & M outfit. She buys clothes for W from there all the time!

I think he had a good time. Keke.

Oh hello.

I know...what the heck are they doing at the party!? We all took turns being Kristen Stewart. It was hilarious! I suggested they take this cardboard of fun to the next wedding they attend. I think it'll be a hit!

This is my favorite! Notice she has four hands. LOL!! LOVE IT!