Survival Mode

Sometimes, I think W can read. When I'm not looking, he climbs up the stairs, goes into our room, grabs the baby guide books and then does exactly what they say. It sounds crazy but with the little sleep I get these days, I feel crazy. Basically what I'm saying is that W can be so textbook sometimes, it's as if he's doing it on purpose. So a few weeks ago, he started waking up earlier in the morning. This is totally fine since I'm tired anyway. But then just starting last week, he started waking up around 5am. Going to bed around midnight....only to wake up a few hours later. It's so brutal, I can't even tell you my thought process at that time. You would label me a bad mother, I'm sure.

I could NOT figure it out!!! What happened to my 12-hour baby?!!! Well, after I swore to never read another baby book again, I swallowed my pride and cracked one open. This book got me to drop 3 night feedings easily, so I thought...why not. After skimming a few pages, I found my answer. I have a textbook 12-month old toddler. One who suffers from separation anxiety. Sigh. Like...BAD. One second he's super clingy, then the next he's punching to get free. Along with that is the fact that he's working out a few kinks with his talking and walking. W is far from walking. In fact, while all his friends are pretty much walking, W still prefers to crawl. He's only just started really cruising. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it because once he starts to walk, it's a lot harder. Against my better judgement, I'm going to believe them. I need to see the silver lining.

As for the talking, he's much more advanced. He's like a parrot. Okay, maybe not a parrot. But close! It was fun at first just trying him to get to say one word. But now if I just repeat myself for a couple of hours..he'll say it, too. Sure, he mixes up a few letters here and there, but he's talking!!! Banana = uh-na-na. Halmuhni = ham-mi. Buggie = ug- bi/uggi. I love you = i- ooo.

Audrey (his friend) = od-di. Car = cah. Tree = tee. He also has his own words for things that no matter how many times I correct him, he refuses to say it the right way. Not that I care. I'm just glad I can understand what he wants.

There is one word that he has mastered and it's a doozy. P taught it to him one afternoon and it has haunted us ever since. Our baby is now a cookie monster. If I hadn't bought his Halloween costume already, I'd be dressing him up as just that!! That is all he says now! Cookie. Cookie! COOKIE!!! Actually, it's more like coo- gee. It's insanely cute and I wouldn't mind it so much except that one night he decided he no longer wanted to eat his food. Just cookies. That's what he kept repeating and I freaked out. I think I made 3-4 different meals in under a 1/2 hour!! Iron chef ain't got nothin' on me! Eventually, he ate oatmeal. But promptly asked for coo-gee when he was done. This went on for about a week when I decided...he can no longer have anything that remotely resembles a cookie. Not even Cheerios. You weren't even allowed to say the word "cookie" in our house. One day, after nursing him at 5am, both of us very drowsy and out of it, he suddenly springs up and says "coo-gee!" Seriously?! That's the first thing that was on his mind. Probably dreamt about it all night, too! LOL!

Did the cookie ban work? It kind of worked. He's back to eating his normal foods with less resistance. He's even lost his pronunciation of the word a little bit since no one is allowed to say it anymore, he no longer has a reference. It's kind of sad but a must for now. My boy has got to be healthy and eating. The word however still surfaces daily but is now used for any food that he likes. If he likes mashed potatoes...it's now coo-gee. Bread...also coo-gee. Sigh. What'dya gonna do, right?

The lack of sleep has me thinking back to the recent past when W was just a newborn and eating every 3 hours. Day AND night. Man, I do not miss that one bit!! I don't know how I survived that at all. When I think about those night feedings, I suddenly feel lonely and depressed. At the time, that is pretty much how I felt. The feedings took much longer at that time. 30-45 minutes!!! And it was tricky because the baby is hungry as well as very tired. So, he keeps falling asleep!! This is not good, folks, because you want him to finish eating. Otherwise he'll be up in an hour again...crying for more. But it's tricky because you can't wake them fully. That would be a nightmare. You just wanna jostle them enough to remind them to suck...but in a drowsy state. Um, can someone explain to me how we, as humans, have not evolved beyond this craziness? It's 2 am and I have no energy or wit to concentrate on keeping the baby "semi- awake!" I can barely get my eyelids to unstick! Then after an hour of this nonsense, I'm tired, hot from all the concentrating or something, and bitter. Very bitter. Bitter that my husband is sleeping soundly and uninterrupted while I play the nursing ninja next door. Seriously don't know how I'm going to be able to do that again. Where there's will, I guess.

I feel a little bit like I did back then...running on fumes. It was easy for a while but this early morning waketime, along with his suddenly picky palate, has got me working overtime. I'm so tired, I don't even want to waste time crying about it. I'd much rather just sleep.

Good night.

@ indoor playground with friends...

It was difficult getting into the slide ... but sooo worth it. Look how much fun he's having!

My Little Pumpkin

We went to a pumpkin patch this weekend. I thought it would be a nice, mellow activity to do as a family. Boy! was I wrong! This place was so crazy busy!! It was also blazing hot if you weren't in the shade. Ugh. My mistake was going to pumpkin patch that had a carnival like atmosphere. You know, the ones with rides and games. Next time, it'll be a just a regular pumpkin patch with pumpkins ONLY.

Regardless, I'm glad we went. W was so cute surrounded by all that squash!

At first, he was like..um..this seat is really uncomfortable.

I found a better spot for his cushy little tushy.

Soon, he was lovin' it! Did Airplane and everything!

Yes, you're awesome!

Choo choo!!! Too bad we didn't have 2 other friends to be on the train with him.

Not sure why he was clapping but he was really enjoying himself.

Look at these giant pumpkins~! Do you know how much baby food I could make with just one of these?!

I originally wanted to get a couple of pumpkins to carve. But the heat and crowd drained me of all my energy and the thought of cleaning out pumpkins changed my mind. Besides, my little pumpkin is all I need.

Bug Love Friday

Well, we know for sure that W loves Bug. One day, I hope I can title a post "Bug loves W Friday."




I think Bug's warmed up to our baby a little. He goes up to him now and sort of licks him, assuming there is food on W's face. And since W has gotten better at petting Bug (and by petting, I mean smacking), Bug actually seeks W's attention from time to time. It's really sweet. And I know somewhere inside, he loves him enough to protect him because when we suction our little booger's boogers, Bug gets to howling. He doesn't care for sirens or the such, but for W, he howls. So cute.

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To!!

Finally! It's done and over. W's party was a success. Well, that's what I hear anyway. I honestly don't remember very much of it. I was sooooo busy running around setting things up, feeding W, trying to make sure everything is going smoothly, I didn't even get to eat the main course!!! Pasta! My favorite and I didn't get a single bite. Sigh.

Even though my mom and I got there super early, it still took me over an hour to set up. Crazy, right? I wish I could've cloned myself just for one hour. My back is a little achy from all the lifting and packing/unpacking I had to do. And even though I had some help with the setup, I was walking back and forth so much that my feet were killing before the party had even started! Basically, all I could think about during the whole thing was, "Ow, my aching feet!" and "It is so hot in here!"

We didn't take any pictures ourselves (as if I had the time) so I'm extremely glad we hired a photographer. It'll be a while before we get to see any of the photos but hopefully they will post a few of them on their blog. I hope they came out okay and I hope my face isn't all shiny from all the sweat. Who forgot to bring her powder? That would be me.

I knew W would have a hard time with all the attention and people. He gets overwhelmed pretty easily. But he did have plenty of smiles as well, especially when he was crawling around or when he was eating. The big question is...what did he pick for his doljabi? Well, he didn't really. He just stared at the items for a really long time, looked around and starting laughing and crawling over the stuff! LOL!!! He kept doing this and finally we decided to designate the stethoscope as his choice. Not because he grabbed it, but because it was the item he touched the longest. I know, kinda lame and anticlimactic.

Our proudest achievement was having made the photobooth. That's right. We MADE it. We still have a few kinks to work out but for the most part, it's great! Here are a few of my favorite photos...

Aw, my poor little W. He just finished crying. Don't you just love his red Converse and crazy hair? So happy he's my son. Can't wait to take more photobooth pictures with him!

My baby is now a toddler and it's still hard for me to think of him this way. It's been the most incredible year of my life. Nothing compares. I hope one day, he will be able to read this little journal of mine and know just how much we love him. Every one always says "enjoy him when he's this little," and we absolutely have. I already miss his gummy smile, the funny newborn faces he used to make, all his pudginess!, his crying face (so cute!), his crazy hairs, his chuckling when he sleeps... ALL OF IT. Sigh, he's already acting so grown up. Where did my baby boy go?

Well, I know much more fun is ahead of us. I welcome the challenges of raising our little man. Who wants to guess item gets ruined first?! LOL!

Baby No More

Today is the best day of my life. A year ago was also the best day of my life. I'm going to include everyday in between as well. My little baby is an entire year old today! My heart was celebrating all day long. How did we get so lucky and so blessed to have such an amazing little boy as our own?

I was originally going to bake a little cake..frosting and all. But I decided that it was too sweet and too much effort for something I would only take away after a fistful. So, a "pan-cake" would have to do.

Ooooh...fire.

He enjoyed the sprinkles for a long time before even realizing the pancakes were edible.

Mmmm...soft and fluffy texture in my mouth. I can get used to this.

I like pancakes so much, I want to eat it through my nose, too!

This is so good. You gotta try some.

I had to take it away because he was stuffing huge pieces of it into his mouth and choking. Sigh.

Glutton for punishment.

He went back to working on all the sprinkles. Yes, he's saving the blue one for later.

What a happy one-year-old baby :) We love you sooo much!!!

Probably the only age when you can spend your birthday in your birthday suit.

We spent the day doing ordinary things. IKEA, then Target. I did run into a couple of friends and that was a really nice surprise. We were back home for dinner and grandma visited, which made W very happy. All in all, it was a normal day for us. Except that I felt like I was on cloud nine the whole time. It was a day filled with memories of this past year and how much my little baby has grown. He's so amazing and so funny! I never would've guessed that my big-headed fetus would grow to be this delicious, quirky and inspiring human being. Every day I get to wake up to his sweet face and I am reminded of what my role on this earth is. I'm so blessed to be his mommy and this has been a very special birthday to me.

Love It, I Covet

Isn't it pretty? I've been looking for a two-sided clock since we moved in. Our walls are bare. All we have is a cracker-thin TV in the living room and that's about it. No pictures, no clocks. Just paint and texture. I think once we start putting up photos we love, it'll feel much more homey and cozy. I'm usually a decisive person but I'm finding this whole home decorating business really mind-boggling. The options are endless and I love so many styles of interior design, I'm constantly struggling in my own mind as to which direction to take. Sigh. At least I decided on a clock.

Say What?!

He said his first word!!!! What is it? It's okay. No, seriously. His first word was "okay." LOL! We had been skyping with a couple of friends and we kept saying "okay" before hanging up and all of a sudden, he said "oh-tey!" P and I were like...huh? So we kept saying it and he would repeat it! He's been saying "mama" and "umma." Especially when he's really hungry, he always says "umma." But I never taught him that so it doesn't count. I think all babies naturally same "mama" without meaning anything. I always joke that I gave birth to a FOB! Oh man, I can't tell you how exciting it is and how cute it sounds when he says it. He also knows how to say peacock. Well, okay...he doesn't say "peacock." It sounds more like "cock." LOL!!! But we know he means to say the whole word, he just doesn't know how yet. It's so funny!!

I feel like my baby has grown so much since his last doctor's visit a couple of months ago. He's almost an entire year old!! Where does the time go?! Somebody please answer this question!!

As you can see, he's still got his crazy hairs. Depending on what position he's slept in, it goes in all directions. I love when I go to kiss his head, all those crazy hairs tickle my nose. :) I especially love when he puts both his hands on his head and scratches his hair. It's not the same as the "I'm tired so I'm gonna pull my hair out" thing. He just raises his arms high and wiggles his fingers around in his hair. It's hilarious! Do you think he has dandruff? Do they sell baby Head n' Shoulders?

He's been copying us, too. When we do "dori dori," he totally does it. And then when he's in an especially playful mood, he'll look at you and do it first and then it becomes a "dori dori" battle!! Each time, he'll lean in closer and closer and shake his head harder and harder. People must think we're a weird head-shaking family. To that I say, yes we are. He give high-fives, lifts his arms when you say "airplane," and tilts his head to one side when you do. Just this past week, he started waving hello and sticking his tongue out when we do. The funniest thing is when he tries to force a laugh when we're laughing. It ends up sounding like a cough instead. He just wants to be included, I think. It's so weird to be able to converse with him in this way. We may not be talking world politics, but we're communicating!! This is awesome!! I can't wait until he understands when we say "I love you." I say it so often and it kills me that he has no clue how I feel.

The other day, he decided to crawl up the stairs. That's right. He can't walk yet, but stairs...no problemo! I'm not too surprised because he really enjoys climbing onto his bouncer and playing giddyup. I guess he felt he was ready for Everest. I loved seeing the excitement and determination on his face. Baby ambition is a force to be reckon with. He pulls up to stand real well now, but he still has no desire to put one foot in front of the other. He just jumps up and down. I wonder if he spent too much time in the jumperoo. Oops.

I'm looking for good baby music because W is dancing now! Well, he's no Fred Astaire, obviously. But he sure likes to groove to music. Sometimes, he gets all gangsta and waves one hand in the air, bobbing his head up and down.

Lately, P and I have been sounding a broken record. We always knew that just by repeating yourself, babies will pick up on what you're saying. W knew Buggie's name long time ago. But I always it was because I was always yelling "Buggie!" But he listens and knows lots of words now. If I say "book," he goes crawling to his bookshelf. If I say, "beep beep," he looks at the car on his mobile. "Plop Plop" is fish. "Bzzzz" is his little felt bumble bee. He'll hoot for the owl and moo for the cow. So awesome. He knows "ball," "zebra," bath" and "goodnight." He doesn't like when I say "goodnight" because he knows he has to go to bed. Which leads me to a yucky development. Separation anxiety. It's awful. I knew this was coming but man, it's getting old already. I used to be able to leave him to play by himself for a long time. I was actually able to get things done. Not a ton of stuff, but it's better than now. I don't even have to be playing with him. He just wants me to be in his line of sight.

On the other hand, his stranger anxiety is subsiding. The last couple of times he saw his grandparents, he didn't cry. His grandma was so elated, she was dancing around all crazy...in public. Hahaha! I'm sooo happy about this! He still has his shy moments, but for the most part, he just smiles and giggles when strangers talk to him. He especially loves old ladies. Can you say Cougar? Hahaha!!

Sometimes he just yells. REALLY. LOUD. Especially at the mall. Any mall will do. Even in a busy food court, he is the loudest thing in there! It's so great and I just sit there like a proud mama. I rather he yell than cry, so you go wit' yo' bad self, son! Mommy loves you :)

Sigh, I hope I didn't forget anything. I've been so busy with his birthday crafts, that I haven't been very good at documenting all his new abilities and quirks. I've been trying to videotape W more. First of all, he moves too quickly to take as many photos as I used to. Blur. Blur. Blur. Secondly, we have 3 video cameras and they're just collecting dust. Shame on us. Lastly, as much as I LOVE photographs and all that they provide in the scheme of life, nothing beats live footage. But don't tell the other shutterbugs I said that.

Talking to my other mommy friends, all the babies are starting to develop these cute personalities and I can't wait to get together with them again! I think we should just get a big bowl of popcorn and watch the comedy unfold.

I found him just chillin' by the bathroom, like he's waiting for the bus or something.